Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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