xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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