I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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