You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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