fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize