I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
