I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
