At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
