if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
