somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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