after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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