sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize