Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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