is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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