You work out of a Hotel?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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