He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
