My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
