i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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