the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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