that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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