I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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