Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just google imaged poop.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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