My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
