last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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