i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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