And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
