This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I want a musical about memes.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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