He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
and you fell through a lawn chair
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