Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
