How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
