Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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