i think my mom watched the whole time
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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