also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
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i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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