I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
