i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
