Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
