no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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