I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
