I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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