I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
