I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
