No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I did not marry a roomba.
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