So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
