ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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