I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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