You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just pee around me
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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