i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
