I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
