i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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