toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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