tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
