my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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