My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize