I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
