I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
