Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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