Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
