just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
