Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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