So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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