stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
