dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
