Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
