awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
high people should be assigned attendants
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
