Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
