Yo dont text me then not text me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
